Pumpkin Pie Pussy

This warm fleshy toy is ever so gushy, and mushy. The warmth of the pumpkin gives you a feeling of an actual vagina, taking you to new heights of pleasure. I urge you fellas, before you even think about cheating on your woman, to try this method, it's nice, clean, safe, and it will keep you from getting your ass kicked when she finds out that you fucked another female.

Time to create: 15 minutes
Skill level: intermediate
Things needed: I ripe pumpkin, marker or pen, melon baller or a sharp edge spoon, microwave, and lubricant

Directions:
Buy a good sized pumpkin, the riper the better. A good way to find out the ripeness of the melon is to smell the fruit in the store before you purchase. If the fruit has a aroma, its ripe.
Once you are in the privacy of your own home (don't do this in the store) mark a circle corresponding to the girth of your penis.
With the melon baller, dig a hole into the center of the pumpkin, removing any seeds you find along the way (this is important, remove all seeds or you will be in the emergency room with seeds lodged in your urethra). Remove all excess skin lingering around the hole's opening, it's not as smooth and soft as the inside of the pumpkin.

Microwave the pumpkin, but not too hot you don't want to scald you precious dick. Microwave for about 30 seconds pending on how big or small the pumpkin is.
When you're done, squirt some lube into the hole and you're on your way to ecstasy. The warm, soft flesh of the pumpkin heightens your pleasure sensation because it's as close to a real pussy as possible. Just remember to not put this pumpkin back in the fridge (especially if it's around Halloween, and you have kids in the house) when you're done.